
Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like……love! !!
I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘Sir’ without adding,”You’re making a scene.”
What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it’s that pelicans can be used to mix cement.
Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead?
I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
Did you hear that, Marge? She called me a baboon. The stupidest, smelliest ape of them all.
Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here’s the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
