19
Nov

Best Jerry Seinfeld Quotes



I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him? (Jerry Seinfeld)

What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you’ll wind up naked. (Jerry Seinfeld)

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out.” (Jerry Seinfeld)

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. (Jerry Seinfeld)

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge. (Jerry Seinfeld)

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason . (Jerry Seinfeld)

Why do they call it a “building”? It looks like they’re finished. Why isn’t it a “built”? (Jerry Seinfeld)

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. (Jerry Seinfeld)

The big advantage of a book is it’s very easy to rewind. Close it and you’re right back at the beginning. (Jerry Seinfeld)

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV. (Jerry Seinfeld)

I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can’t smell it. Can’t eat it. Can’t taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, “Well, here it is. You can’t have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye.” (Jerry Seinfeld)

See, the thing of it is, there’s a lot of ugly people out there walking around but they don’t know they’re ugly because nobody actually tells them. (Jerry Seinfeld)

27
Oct

Age quotes


old man
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. (Mark Twain)

The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. And the body is born young and grows old. That is life’s tragedy. ( Oscar Wilde )

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot. ( Oscar Wilde )

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. (George Bernard Shaw)

Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. ( Benjamin Franklin)

To remain young while growing old is the highest blessing. ( German Proverb)

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ( Tom Wilson)

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. (Victor Hugo)

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. ( Benjamin Franklin)

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. ( Henry Ford)

When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day. (Marty Bucella)

30
Sep

Books quotes



Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else. (Mark Twain)
Only your friends steal your books. (Voltaire)

Wear the old coat and buy the new book. ( Austin Phelps )

I am like a book, with pages that have stuck together for want of use: my mind needs unpacking and the truths stored within must be turned over from time to time, to be ready when occasion demands.(Seneca)

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. (Sir Richard Steele)

A room without books is like a body without a soul. (Seneca)

People get nothing out of books but what they bring to them. ( George Bernard Shaw)

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed on and digested.(Francis Bacon)

The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.(Mark Twain)

Books are the treasured wealth of the world and the fit inheritance of generations and nations. ( Henry David Thoreau)

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. (Oscar Wilde)

Books are not made for furniture, but there is nothing else that so beautifully furnishes a house. (Henry Ward Beecher)

A good book has no ending. (R.D. Cumming)